All members of our family's lineage is connected via an energy field, which some call a Family Soul. Everything that happens to the family is imprinted on the Family Soul, including such things as: miscarriages, rape, incest, abuse, issues with anxiety, depression, poverty; murder, war, and much more. Both the perpetrator energies and the victim energies are imprinted.
Descendants tend to experience an unconscious loyalty to ancestral family behaviours, as if the family soul were gifting ancestral 'fate' to them. So if one of your ancestors suffered from extreme poverty, that energy will trickle down the lineage until it is resolved. Equally, if one of your ancestors suffered from sexual abuse; the abuser, and victim energy gets imprinted, and present family can tune into, or experience, either energy. These patterns will continue until they are released.
Family Constellations, enables us to expose and resolve systemic family and ancestral issues, to remove the energy from the current family system. This can help to free descendants from having to repeat those same family patterns.
For those who wish to explore.
It is our job to heal ourselves and lead a conscious life - by accepting ourselves and our life, and if we can love ourselves, we will feel worthy - maybe not perfect - but worthy. If we cannot accept ourselves first, we will not be able to accept others - we will judge them (as we see others as reflections of ourselves).
We need to come to a point in our lives where we can receive the love that has been gifted to us from our lineage in fullness; however our life came to us, and whatever the situation and circumstance of our birth. We can do this at any stage of our life. It may help to connect to the nourishing idea that we have received life, and it is a GIFT, no matter the circumstances that created our birth - let go of the toxic pain and dysfunction - so we can take our life and the available love in full. If you are not able to do this, you may remain entangled or connected to the pain and toxicity. If you cannot disconnect, you risk having to repeat the patterns and dysfunction; since there is a DNA loyalty to ancestral and family patterns - and the family field or soul wants these energies resolved.
For those who wish to evolve, transform or become more yourself.
The facilitator assists the client to put right those things that are not right in the family energy. This may sometimes require restoring the energy balance in the family dynamic - via some form of enabling, empowering, supporting of the “weaker” energies - restoring the balance created by overly strong parents or children, enabling them to soften their energy and remove their defence so that they restore their connection to the ancestral flow of love and life-force.
It may also be necessary to heal our relatives in spirit form, who have not managed to evolve to become healthy ancestors and facilitate appropriate rituals to assist them to reconnect to those that have come before them.
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For those that need the background and science.
All of our experiences create their respective physical chemistry inside the body. We also inherit the "chemistry" of our mother’s experiences that she had while we were in the womb. The study of epigenetics explores this area further and shows that experiences are passed down through generations and can alter how genes are expressed. Our genes are carrying energetic impressions from our ancestors. We are also impacted by the experiences of our ancestors and our own early life experiences also modify our genes to produce healthy or unhealthy effects.
Also, language (thoughts and spoken words), has a significant impact on our energy. It has the power to lift our states or lower them. Scientific research done in Russia has shown that it is entirely normal and natural for our DNA to respond directly to the vibration and structure of language. Genetic code follows the same rules as all our human languages and DNA stores its data much like a computer. It is recording and storing the frequencies, thoughts, beliefs and vibrations to which we are exposed.
Releasing the old energy now makes space for new energy and new understandings or realisations and more supportive beliefs. The old energy is stripped from your being, and responsibility is taken by those that allowed these patterns to be created; so a new state can permeate throughout your energetic timeline.
If we do not honour our family connection, we will find it very difficult to practice self love and self acceptance. Whatever, we experienced as children was what our soul created to assist you to become the being that our soul wishes for us.
One of the effects of a constellation can be to help you complete or finish early family experiences that “were not done well” in the family - as Milton Erickson once said “… it’s never too late to have a perfect childhood”. If we are in right order with our family, love flows easily through the family line. With love comes LIFE FORCE - life force flows when the family order is corrected. When we are in good order inside, then the world feels like a better place.
If we are lucky enough to receive or experience the core requirements for wellness: love, connection, safety, autonomy, dignity and Justice; then we are more likely to turn out well adjusted - which sets us up to be well with ourselves and others. If these experiences were missing from our life, and the lives of our predecessors; the core, “unprocessed”, emotions that materialise in our system during trying times, tend to get stuck in our bodies and energy fields, and the resulting dis - ease, may then become the foundation of many of our physical, mental and emotional illnesses and issues.
We have the ability and right to connect to love as humans, loving ourselves and our former selves as we are / were - loving our parents and their limits and knowledge as they are. Connecting to the love that exists in the family system, connects us to our ability to love ourselves.
Sometimes we put our parents on a pedestal, up to the age of 8 - but when reason kicks in for the child, usually around age 9, we receive a rude awakening, as we are now able to see the real situation and can hold the measure of the actual person we once idealised, and this can leave us feeling disillusioned or cheated and resentful.
Previous glorification of our parents, now turns into resentment and then anger, leaving us now energetically cut off from ancestral love and life force.
Worse still, we may still have our parents in a glorified position in our minds, so will need assistance to turn that idolised love into a mature love, where we can begin to understand the “real” person with their idiosyncrasies and flaws.
Everyone in the family is entitled to belong to the group. Exclusions, will throw out the family order. Exclusions sometimes include miscarriages and abortions, and in such cases recognition and inclusion may be necessary.
When our parents are having difficulty, we may subconsciously (or consciously) wish to take on their burden. This stops the flow of love and life-force and affects the family order.
We may sometimes judge our parents, which also upsets the natural order. A child may also be placed, by circumstance, voluntarily or against their will, into a position of having to “parent” their own parents or siblings, which unfortunately makes them “miss out” on their own childhood and puts them out of order. In this situation the order will need to be restored so they can energetically restore the natural flow of love and life force.
Tribal cultures have order “woven” through them and maintain awareness of their ancestry and lineages. Our Parents came before us, and without them we would not be here.
For those that like to hear reasons.
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Sometimes it is useful before a session to find out the facts about the family, and any information about and major tragedies, emigrations, illnesses and family secrets. If you can let go and trust your own inner wisdom, you can gain a lot of insight from a single session. You will always get what you need and are ready to integrate. Meditation and relaxation before your session can assist you to relax deeply and let go during the session. However, a vested interest in the outcome, can do wonders to spark your family soul's interest in providing answers. Try to remain open minded and let the practitioner know if there are any concerns, doubts and fears that you may have regarding the session. There is nothing to worry about as you are always in control and can stop at any point whenever you choose.
How to Prepare for a Session
Family Constellations typically takes up to 1.5 - 2 hours and it is prudent to allow up to 3 hours to enable integration.
Take time after a session to integrate your experience. Allow yourself the time, without needing to return to work or undertake any busy activities afterwards. Do not think about the session afterwards and allow the energy to disperse.
What to Expect